I read this story some 15 years back in one of those children books. Kinda stayed with me.

Once there was a girl in a small village. A true devotee of Lord Almighty. She prayed with all her heart and wished for God to give him darshaan.

Pleased by her sincerity, God came to her and blessed her. He asked her for her wish. What she asked shocked him-

“I want you to come to see me everyday for the rest of my life.”

My child this might not be in best of your interests, God warned her. But she insisted and finally God agreed.

“I will come as a ascetic everyday at your door and take some bhikshaa (alms) from you. But remember, you can never reveal my true identity to anyone. IF you do, you’ll instantly turn to stone.”

And so, bound by his word, everyday God came as a ascetic at her door. She donated some grain to him and he blessed her. Her parents initially wary, later got used to the ascetic coming at their door.

Time flew by and time came for the girl to get married. On her wedding day too, God came and asked got bhikshaa. Girl’s mother came out but he refused to take it from her. Finally girl herself came to take his blessings for her life ahead.

“Remember my child. People do not always see things the way you want them too. They have their own interpretation and you have to live with that.”

Girl got married and went to stay at her husband’s house where he stayed with his parents. Next day, the ascetic came to her new home and asked for bhikshaa. When this continued, girl’s mother in law grew suspicious of them and discussed it with her husband and son. They tried to dissuade the girl from giving alms and the ascetic to stop coming but to no avail.

Finally one day when ascetic came, they confronted them both and demanded an explanation. Girl couldn’t say anything since she did not want to lie and was prohibited to reveal the truth. Enraged by her silence, her husband started abusing the ascetic who just stood there listening to everything.

A devotee can take a thousand allegations on himself but how to stand one’s lord being bad mouthed. In a fit of pained cry, she screamed and told everyone the truth.

Suddenly there was a flash of light in place of the ascetic. “You broke your word and now you may bear the result.”

Ascetic had disappeared. A stunned audience turned to see a stone statue in place of the girl.


During our life we encounter a number of relationships. Some we are born with, some we make ourselves. This society defines a unique mould for every relationship of one’s life with its set of do’s and don’ts.

And what does not fit in the mould is frowned upon. While we say that the world is constantly changing, we ourselves do not want to break out of those moulds.

But some relationships do not fit in those moulds…they cannot be named. they cannot be defined. They are just there, incomparable to any relation in our lives but still the most important one of all.

You cannot define it, you cannot explain it. But they do not fit in the moulds defined by this society. The world does not understand it. And what we don’t understand, we think the worst of it.

And so you have to justify it….justify importance and existence of a crucial part of your own life to the society…to everyone around you.

Your family. Your friends. Your life partner.

And if you fail to explain, you may have to give up on it.

Such is this world we live in. To live your life your own way, you have to give reasons.

Has it ever happened to you?




17 thoughts on “Define

  1. I can relate, as a woman, a minority, I encounter stuff, thanks for sharing, Glad to have you back…

    i will add your birthday and link to my list.

    hope to see you in our potluck, no need to link in a poem related to the theme, an old poem would work the wonder as well..


  2. Hey Jingle, glad you liked it 🙂

    And thanks for invite to potluck…such endeavors from you give me a reason to push myself to write..will try to put down something 🙂

  3. been reading a lot of posts today…finally found one that i really liked…not only was the story interesting but the discussion afterwards hit home…

    fortunately or unfortunately for me…i have got so many of these relationships that just won’t fit into a label…

    its not easy but i understand the society’s discomfort as a third party it becomes difficult for them to get a grip as to whats going on…thats why they need pattern and labels…if i were to see a relationship i would also be flummoxed similarly..imagine in the story if it was the husband giving alms to a strange woman…how would it feel like to the wife…confusing innit…thats the way it is…

    • I know…its easier to sit in one corner and criticize but we also might behave same way if the tables turned. Its more like part of our DNA.
      but still it irks sometimes when you have to give up on something simply because its not part of the norms.

  4. Totally relate to this, though I do not like the image of a god who would punish a loyal reaction and create a contrived situation. This is god made in the image of man. None-the-less, often there are no solutions or only imperfect ones.

    Well done. Engaging post.

  5. You don’t need to reason to others about everything you do. There is a large number people you should neglect and that number might get too large and that’s all, but nobody can stop you from following what you like. Simply because its your damn life.

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