It was raining that evening. The on-going unassuming drizzle-ish rain that doesn’t ask for your attention and just let’s you be.
She always considered their friendship akin to this light rain.
Comfortable. Silent. Soothing.
They were sitting in the balcony.
Pack of smokes done with.
It was day 3 of the smoke- marathon.
It seemed something was on his mind. She didn’t ask. She never did.
She liked the silence.
“We have been friends for a real long time”
“Did you know I fell in love with you?”
“Ofcourse you did.”
“Ofcourse you are. I also love you. You have been there for me always.”
“You aren’t getting it. I really am in love with you.”
“You are married. you have two kids”
“Yes. And I do love my wife too. But I love you too”
Rain grew a bit heavy. Accompanied by lightening.
She heard him. If that means that the sound waves entered her brain via her ears.
She knew what it meant.
But she didn’t really get it. She thought married men were safe.
Taking her silence for… don’t really know what, her continued unloading himself of this secret that he has been carrying for all these years.
How he thinks about her.
He doesn’t love me. He just thinks he does. Silly man. He is protective about me. That’s it.
Thinking it is all figured out, she calmed down and let him vent.
Half the time she was not even listening.
Rain wasn’t heavy anymore but it was noticable now. Wind was blowing the rain in the balcony now.
She didn’t like it. She didn’t move.
“I used to delete our messages and call logs time to time. Didn’t want her to see them and think something else.”
“Why there was nothing wrong in them. I never felt anything for you so.. nothing.”
“Yes I know but still. I didn’t want her to worry”
Somewhere in the back of her head, a niggling thought started pushing through.
He stopped talking. There was silence.
She didn’t like it.
She asked him to leave. He did.
She felt icky. Like your feet would feel in a shoe drenched in dirty water from a puddle.
She thought back to all those years of friendship and long conversations sharing wine in a parking lot.
With the filter of realities unveiled tonight, it all looked very different.
she didn’t like it.
Like she didn’t like the rain also anymore.